Thursday, November 24, 2011

Happy Thanksgiving

Wow -- I can't believe I haven't posted anything in over a month.  You probably thought the King was dead.  Not so quick.  I've just taken a little time off.  Now I am ready to get back into action.  And what better time than Thanksgiving Day?
I love Thanksgiving.  I use to think it was because I got to eat the best food and watch football with all my love ones -- although I am not sure all the love ones agree on the football part (especially when one of the teams was the Lions).
But now, I realize that the real reason I love Thanksgiving is because I have so much to be thankful about.  I've pretty much lived a charmed life.  I have a wonderful wife, grown children who are well adjusted and successful.  I have good health and relatively little to worry about.  I also realize that all this could change in a heartbeat.  So I make it my job to live each day as if it were the last.  I worry about very little and I rarely have anything to worry about.  I really have a lot of reasons to be thankful.
I also realize that everyone is not so fortunate.  For those I hope life gets better and next year they'll have something to be thankful about. When I am King, I'll do my best to help everyone have a Happy Thanksgiving.

Saturday, October 15, 2011

Seperate Church and State

Indiana is using tax payers’ money to support religion.  The government is using educational reform to fund a back door effort to support religious schools.  This year, Indiana will allow 7,500 students to obtain a voucher from their local district to fund their tuition at a private school.  Out of the 36 schools that have accepted students, 31 of them are religious schools. Next year the number of students eligible for a voucher will rise to 15,000 and the following year there will be no limit.

I’ve always opposed the voucher system because it is primarily a method to allow rich people to get a discount on their private education.  Furthermore it makes no sense to take more money away from public schools that are all ready underfunded.  But, I really object to funding religious schools.  Public schools educate everyone.  Religious schools pick and chose their students and then brain wash in their religious bigotry. 

When I am King, I’ll outlaw the voucher system.  Religious schools will still be able to exist, but they will be “separate” from the government.  That’s the way our founders indented it to be.

Saturday, October 1, 2011

Hug a Liberal

Some where along the line, the term liberal became a dirty word.  Even our liberal leaders refer to themselves as "progressives".  If you listen to any of the Republican candidates you would think liberals are godless killers of the economy.  The truth be known, liberals have always been the ones looking after the well being of the everyday people, while the conservatives only care about money, especially other people's money.  Here are just a few reasons you should hug a liberal.
  • If you have ever breathed clean air or drank clean water, hug a liberal
  • If you haven't been lynched because of the color of your skin, hug a liberal
  • If you have ever used Medicare, hug a liberal
  • If you've ever driven on an interstate highway, hug a liberal
  • If you don't live an an overpopulated third world slum, or just think birth control is a good idea, hug a liberal.
  • If your family benefited from the GI Bill of Rights, hug a liberal
  • If you're are glad the the Nazis don't control half of the world, hug a liberal
  • If you've ever visited a national park, hug a liberal
  • If you haven't been tortured to death in a religious inquisition, hug a liberal.
In short, if you've ever enjoyed anything of the post-stone age world, you have a liberal to thank.  When I am King and someone calls me a liberal, I am going to say "Thank You"! 

Friday, September 23, 2011

Death Penalty is Murder

I never could understand how two wrongs make a right.  Remember when you were a kid and some other kid did something stupid – and you did the same thing.  Your mother probably said something like “if Johnny jumps off a bridge, I guess you would jump off the bridge too.”  Well, it turns out old mom was pretty smart.

Think about it.  The police are supposed to stamp out corruption – not be corrupt.  You wouldn’t expect firemen set fires.   How many people would go to a doctor if he purposely made the patient sicker?  All of these are obviously absurd scenarios.   

Yet, our states and national government make it illegal to murder someone, but have no problem committing murder themselves.  Yes, I am talking about the death penalty.  Why does the government feel they should be exempt from this crime?  Maybe it’s because of religious views, in which case I'm glad I am an atheist.  Maybe it’s because it makes you feel safer – even though there is no evidence that the death penalty serves as a deterrent to murder.  No, I just think people like the idea of revenge. 

My problem is that we sometimes get it wrong.  Innocent people on death row have been cleared by DNA in recent years.  There’s no telling how many innocent people were killed before this technology.  Georgia recently executed a man who had seven of his nine witnesses recant their testimony.  After a while, it appears expediency is more important than due process and mercy.

When I am King, I’ll eliminate the death penalty in all 50 states and the federal government.  Two wrongs don’t make a right.  Murder is murder.

Sunday, September 18, 2011

Golf: A Great Journey

As most of you know, I really love golf.  However, I sometimes have a hard time explaining why.  God knows (Golf God) it’s a game that gives great pleasure and sorrow -- sometimes in the same round.  So what’s the great attraction?

I use to think it was the challenge.  You have to master so many skills and you have to do everything yourself.  I use to play basketball (my first love).  When I was having a bad shooting night, I simply worked harder on my defense and rebounding.  I also had the good sense to pass the ball to someone who was having a good shooting night.  In golf, there’s no one to pass the ball to.  If you suck hitting bunker shots, there’s no sub to take your place.

But, as much as the challenge is great, I think the golf journey is why I love golf so much.  You start on a sharp learning curve and find out it never ends.  As you start to improve your swing, you realize how much better it could be.  You try to hit it farther, hit more fairways with your driver, hit more greens in regulation, take fewer putts, etc.  Even the pros are never satisfied. 

Recently I had a great time playing golf with my son.  He’s just starting to take up golf and he really loves it.  Seeing him play reminded me of my journey.  Every mistake he made, I’ve made a hundred times early in my journey.  Now he’s on his own journey and I hope he has as much fun as I’ve had. My journey has lasted 47 years and I hope it last a few more years.  You see, I still have a lot of things to work on.  Good luck son. 

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Princess Of Seattle

My wife and I just finished visiting our daughter in Seattle, Washington.  Although we were only there four days, I learned a lot about Seattle. The following are some of my observations. 
  • Seattle seems to be a very young city.  I felt like the oldest fart on the block.  Maybe that’s because the down town section is extremely hilly and only the hardiest souls can survive there. (Your dumb ass King brought new shoes on the trip)
  • Young people all seem to be ready for anything.  You almost never see a young person with out a back pack.  I just wonder what’s in those back packs.
  • It seems like every young person is in love with their I-Phone.  My daughter made me a believer with her demonstration of the bus app.  However, I am not sure the King is smart enough to learn how to use it.
  • My daughter is a real celebrity.  First, a total stranger stops her on the street and asks if she’s the “Boob Quake Girl?” and later our underground tour guide confessed she was a big fan of her blog.  She even asked for an autograph.  No one has ever asked for The King’s autograph.

After I left, I was convinced that my daughter has found the perfect home.  When I am King I am making my daughter Princess of Seattle.

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Man Up with God

On August 23, I made a post entitled "Golf In Utopia".  I wrote about a golf book  that had some potential, but spent too much time pushing Jesus down my throat.  When I wrote a review about this book on, I received the following comment .....Why would anyone be "offended" by reading about being born again and accepting Jesus Christ as your savior. How weak are you? Your religion of liberalism perpetuates your weakness. Man up! 

This comment doesn't surprise me.  Christians have never been too tolerant of others.  But, they have been great at slaughtering people in the name of God.  Before you push your conservative bull shit beliefs on others, you might want to learn how to love thy neighbor (especially the ones who are different).

Election Reform

It's early September and we are starting the presidential election debates.  The actual election is a year from November.  Our election is a case of overkill.  Why do we start so damn early?  Money.  People want to know where they should put their influence money, so they need some time to figure out who deserves their bribes.  I mean, think about it.  What are you learning about Republican candidates that you don't already know?  First, they hate Obama.  Second, they hate Obama, etc. But, not one of them has done anything to improve the life of everyday working people.  But, did I mention -- They Hate Obama???

When I am King, I am going to make some procedural changes.  First we are going to have one national primary that will be held over the 4th of July weekend.  Talk about a patriotic duty.  Prior to the primary, all  campaign ads on TV will be limited to the midnight to 6:00 am time slot. Second, after the primary election, each presidential candidate will be limited to two hours of campaigning on TV per day.  Each candidate can decide which shows he or she wants preempted - talk about pressure decisions.  If you take off "The Good Wife" or "CSI", I am definitely voting for the other guy.  The election will span the whole first week of November and anyone who votes gets $100 off any taxes they owe.  That should get the turnout over 50% for a change.

Now I know some of you are thinking this won't be enough time to get the message out.  Bull shit.  I'll help you both out right now. Republicans, your message is "We Hate Obama".  President Obama, your message is "They Really Fucking Hate Me!"

 Now that I've helped save you all this time, how about you both get your asses moving on fixing this shitty economy.

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Obama - Grow Some Balls

President Obama finally gets around to giving his policy speech on jobs and what happens?  Speaker Boehner informs him that it's not really a good date and suggests the next day instead (which happens to be the opening day of the NFL).  It seems that the Republicans are having a debate on the same day.  Wow -- that's a good reason to put a side a major presidential speech.

The King has a better idea.  The President should call up Speaker Boehner and tell him what day he wants to speak.  If he balks, tell him to go fuck himself and then proceed to plan B. The president should give his speech from the steps of the Lincoln Memorial.  Imagine a million people, mostly unemployed, cheering his every word.  Unlike the usual speech before congress where Democrats applaud while the Republicans sit on their hands, people will be able to go nuts and show their support.

Republicans caused this economic crisis and now want to act like it was all caused by the poor and elderly.  President Obama needs to fine some fire.  Grow a set of balls.  Take the fight to the American public and stop trying to kiss the ass of Republicans.  Republican's don't care about the economy because they are all rich and can weather any financial storm.   Real people want jobs. 

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Golf In Utopia

If you really want to read a good book about the psychology of golf, don't bother reading "Seven Days in Utopia: Golf's Sacred Journey."     Early in the book the author, David L. Cook, does a pretty good job of describing his philosophy SFT (see it, feel it, and trust it), but he turns super religious for the last third of the book. 

The book tells a story about a down on his luck professional golfer who lands in a small town named Utopia after one of his worst golf failures.  He discovers an elderly owner of a run down golf course who knows more about golf and life than any dozen psychologist.  On the seventh day, he convinces the professional golfer that his real problem is he hasn't accepted Jesus Christ as his savior and guiding light.

It is pure hokey melodrama the rest of the way.  You don't even learn the ending of the story.  Instead you're directed to the author's web page where he tries to convince you to buy bundles of his book to distribute at your next golf outing.

Believe it or not, this book will soon be on the silver screen.  I usually find that the movie is not as good as the book.  This time that will be hard to accomplish.  When I am King, if a golfer wants to learn more about golf psychology, I'll advise him to read Dr. Bob Rotella's book "Golf Is Not A Game Of Perfect."  His philosophy doesn't require you to be a Christian to play better golf.

Sunday, August 21, 2011

Golf and God

I was watching the golf tournament today and I was pleased to see this rookie win for the first time.  He really hit the ball well and kept his composure down the stretch.  After he finished he was greeted by one of the announcers seeking his comments on his great break through win.  First thing out of the golfer's mouth," I have to give all credit to Jesus Christ my savior who was with me every step of the way.  His presence made it possible for me to stay calm down the stretch."

What a crock of shit.  Do you really think God has nothing better to do than make sure his only son calms you down the stretch. Does God hate the other golfers? Does God have nothing better to do?  I mean, Japan is on the verge becoming a toxic nuclear waste dump and God is worried about a golf tournament???  Million of people are unemployed because rich bastards need to have God kick them in the ass, but noooooooooo, he's busy watching golf. 

Personally, I really don't care what a person's religious beliefs are, as long as he keeps them to himself.  It's when he tries  to push his beliefs on everyone else that I take exception.  When I am King, I'll fine your ass for such TV utterances.  All you're doing is promoting your religion on national TV -- do it in church.  You'll find lots of people who wan to hear your thoughts.  But I won't be there, I'll be playing golf.

Thursday, August 18, 2011

The King Needs Some Help

It has come to my attention that some people have not been able to make comments on my blog.  Well, that really sucks -- I really love those comments.  I am thinking something must be wrong with my settings, although I swear I haven't touch anything.  If you have any idea what might be causing this problem, send me your suggestion for a possible fix at  I know there are some really smart people out there who are eager to help their future king.  So give me a helping hand -- I want to get those comments again.

Sunday, August 14, 2011

De'ja Vu

Yogi Berra coined the phrase, it looks like de'ja vu all over again.  While Yogi was clearly no English teacher, he was a very astute observer.  We could use some of Yogi's skills to look into the current government flap over the economy.

Probably the closest thing to the current situation would be the Great Depression.  Just like today, there were government officials who thought it was a good idea to have the government go into default.  Just like then, these government officials were either rich or bought and paid for by the rich.

For example, look at the role of President Hoover's Secretary of Treasury, Andrew Mellon.  Mellon thought it would be a good thing if the economy would go right to the bottom.  If the economy crashed, Mellon predicted "people will work harder, live a more moral life.  Values will be adjusted and enterprising people will pick up the wrecks from less competent people. There were plenty of tycoons who had enough income from rents and bonds to weather a prolonged depression themselves, but found consolation in the hope that it would destroy the labor unions and bring back old times when a dollar a day was a white man's pay".  Sound familiar?  Rick people have always  advocated for their own selfish interest.  Whether it's Mellon in the 30's or the Kock brothers today -- they want to fuck over the poor and middle class.  We've beat them before, and we will beat them again.

By the way, I have to thank my good buddy, Zyggy, for his research help.  For you source freaks, check out page 945 of The Oxford History of the American People by Samuel Eliot Morison.  I know you can probably find it somewhere on the Internet,  but Zyggy was a great history teacher and he never threw out those old text books.  Which puts him way ahead of all the politicians who never read them.

When I am King, I'll make Zyggy in charge of history lessons for all members of Congress.  If they don't pass his class, they can't serve until they do.  Maybe then we can cut down on all the de'ja vu all over again.

Monday, August 1, 2011

Who Won??

It appears that the debt ceiling crisis is over.  The Republican and Democrat leaders have come up with a compromise solution.  Personally I think the whole situation was a Tea Party hostage game.  The debt ceiling has been raise more that 70 times in the last 90 years -- why the big stink this time?  Because the Tea Party has enough members in Congress to be real obstructionist.  Even though the Republicans are in the majority in the House, the Tea Party members can keep any bill from passing by simply saying NO.  Sort of a filibuster for the House.  That's why there's no new revenues in the final solution, just cuts from the elderly, poor and middle class.

I am a little pissed at President Obama.  He should have let the Bush Tax Cut expire when he had a chance.  It overwhelming benefits rich people and is directly responsible for 3.1 trillion dollars of the national debt.  Hopefully Obama will stop trying to be a moderate conservative and get back to his moderate liberal roots.  Trying to balance the budget without increasing revenues is pure folly.

As long as the Congress produces a budget that contains more spending that revenues, our country will have to borrow money.  When I am King, I'll declare the debt ceiling process unconstitutional.  Maybe then we can get on to real problems, like JOBS, JOBS, AND JOBS.

Sunday, July 24, 2011

Making a Difference

I was a teacher for 38 years.  During that time, I taught or interacted with thousands of young people.  As hard as I tried, I was never quite sure if what I was doing was making any kind of difference.  Fortunately for me, I was able to see many of my former students latter on and a few would tell me how I had made a difference in their life.  Usually they would quote something I said (something I didn't even remember) or some action I had taken that helped them greatly.  It was great knowing that my  life work was really worth it.

Last night, I was attending my wife's 40th class reunion, which just happen to be my first year of teaching at the same school (I didn't meet my wife until after she graduated from college -- I know what you're thinking).  A man approached me and said "you don't know me, but you save my kids life and I just wanted to say thanks."  It turns I screened his son for learning disabilities and in the process I noted that his son might have ADDHD (Attention Deficit Disorder, Hyperactivity  Disorder).  I had a doctor friend that specialized in treating ADDHD students and I convince the father to have his son checked out.  As they say the rest is history.  Because of my screening and the doctors help, this young man graduated on time.  He now is married, has a great job and three teenage children.  The father still remembers the date of his son's first doctor appointment. I hardly remembered the event at all.  Just another day of doing my job.

Needless to say, I was very flattered by the man and thankful for his feedback.  I am sure he was giving me way too much credit.  But, it did make me feel good.  When I am King, I am going to encourage everyone to take time to thank one teacher that really made a difference -- it will help validate the efforts of so many good teachers.

Monday, June 6, 2011

Fighting For "Rats"

Recently I was reading a book about the Civil War.  Some union soldiers were questioning why some southern prisoners  were fighting to keep slavery.  One southern soldier replied he wasn't fighting for slavery, he was fighting for his "rats".  After hearing the same reply several more times, the union soldier finally realized "rats" meant rights.  So the union soldier asked him which "rats" he was fighting for.  After great though, the southern soldier couldn't come up with a suitable answer, but he was sure they were important "rats".

Think of the times you watched the news and saw some clips of rebels fighting in some third wold country.  How many of these people really know what "rats" their fighting for or even have a clue that they are being exploited by leaders who basically care only about their own self  gratification.  It doesn't even have to be a third world country, just check out our own political or religious bickering.  I am always amazed watching elderly people on television bitching about keeping the government out of their lives.  Hello -- anybody heard of Social Security or Medicare.  That seems like a government intrusion, but one that nobody wants to give up.

As I see it, a major problem is people do not know how to exercise critical thinking.  It's easy to remember and chant bumper sticker quotes.  It takes a little effort to dig beneath the surface and separate fact from fiction.  Worst yet, it is really hard to face facts that are contrary to your opinion.

When I am King, every school in American will be required to have daily critical thinking activities starting in kindergarten.  Maybe someday, people will actually know which "rats" there fighting for.

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Extreme Weather

We're experiencing the worst tornado season in over 50 years.  Why??  I have a hunch it's because of global warming, aka climate change.  I know there are people out there that say God is trying to send a message.  What message would that be?  I really don't know the cause, but I prefer to trust in science.  If God was so wonderful, why do such things occur in the first place.  We're suppose to except that God has a plan, but would it be to much let everyone in on it.  Obviously, I am a non-believer.  I can't believe that a God that suppose to be all loving and powerful would allow such disasters to occur.

When I am King, I am going to add a weather course to every high school curriculum.  I want people to know why things happen, instead of trembling in fear of God every time a dark cloud appears.  I'll also make sure that the state, local, and federal government are ready to do everything humanly possible to help people recover from such disasters. 

Saturday, May 7, 2011

Lady Lake Right Wing Newspaper

Like a lot of people living in a small town, we have a free local newspaper that is thrown on our driveway periodically.  The paper is nothing but a right wing propaganda rag.  Recently I read one article entitled, Where is Our Country Headed.  It was basically an Obama hate letter.  It was of course written by an anonymous author, one who had great difficulty with proper grammar.  What follows are a few examples of the questions or comments made about the President.  I have chosen to give my own replies in blue.
  1. We are not sure where he came from. Simple answer, from Mrs. & Mr. Obama.  If it's a location you had in mind, how about Hawaii.  Check it out -- I am pretty sure it's part of the United States.
  2. We know Obama has never run a business and has never had to meet payroll and still has not experienced in while trying to run our country.  Apparently being an educator disqualifies you from being president.  Of course most presidents in the last hundred years had never run a business (Nixon, Ford, Kennedy, Roosevelt, etc).  But I am pretty sure everyone in the federal government is getting their check on time.
  3. Obama has never had military experience but he is in charge of the largest army in the world.    John Adams, John Quincy Adams, Martin Van Buren, William Howard Taft, Herbert Hoover, Franklin D. Roosevelt, and Bill Clinton all lacked military experience.  Message to Moron -- it's not a requirement -- look it up.  By the way did you hear how the Obama administration managed to kill Osama bin Laden??
  4. Obama has the Robin Hood Syndrome.  Take from the rich and give to the poor.  I guess that could work until there are no more rich.  First of all, Robin Hood was a good guy (read the book if you're capable).  Secondly, if you're on Social Security or receiving Medicare, I hope you will refuse it in the future because you are really spending someone else's money.  Thirdly, I am pretty sure there will always be rich people.  If you objectively look at the data (as opposed to listening to only the Fox News hate team),  you'll see that the rich have done nothing but get richer at the expense of the middle class and poor.
I could go on forever, but I think you get the point.  Hate literature is protected by the first amendment.  It's nice to know that the Citizen White Council is still alive and well in Florida. But, When I am King you'll have to sign your name to the article.  Further more, you'll be charged a fee for littering my driveway.

Monday, May 2, 2011

Friday, April 22, 2011

Lady Lake & Religious Freedom

It has come to my attention that the Constitution is being threatened in Lady Lake, Florida.  For you who have never heard of Lady Lake, it is part of a retirement development known as The Villages.  The average inhabitant is about 70+ years old.  It's a great place if you love golf and living an active lifestyle.  However, it should be no surprise that it's prime tea-bag party area.  The local newspaper's favorite columnist is Ollie North, a convicted felon. It also should come as no surprise that the local city council starts every meeting  with a secular prayer.  The city council says its' prayer is not meant to favor any one religion, in spite of the fact that they usually end with, "in Jesus' name we pray".  They also claim they are doing nothing illegal,  since the meeting doesn't officially start until the prayer is completed.

Although I am not surprised by this development, since most of the residences are gun nuts, religious zealots, and war mongers, but I have found that there are also some sane people.  I play tennis with a group of guys who are surprisingly liberal.  Recently, they asked my opinion on Huckabee for President, and I issued a disclaimer that I was an atheist and I considered all right wing religious politicians as the vanguard for the American Taliban.  Instead of stoning me, they wanted to know more about my opinions.  I told them, When I am King, people will be able to express their religious beliefs freely in church and their home, but will have to keep their mouth zipped in public.  There will be no tax deductions for churches and  you will no longer be able to run for office claiming God told you to do it.  Everyone knows there is only one god -- The Golf God -- and he has plenty of bad golf swings in The Villages to keep him/her busy without taking on politics.

Saturday, April 9, 2011


I live in a manufactured home in central Florida.  A big part of a manufactured home is the shed, sort of like a garage with most homes.  Every time I go to the shed I have to unlock it -- even though it is only a few feet from the main door.  It reminds why I hate locks.  Locks are sign of the society we live in -- if you don't lock it, some one will steal it.  I remember as a kid, we never locked our doors.  When I came home from college, I just walked through the front door.  I never owned a key.  Man, do I miss those days.  I remember a teacher I had tell me his philosophy on life.  He could understand how someone could kill someone in a fit of emotional rage, but he couldn't understand how someone could take something that didn't belong to him.  Basically it comes down to right and wrong.

When I am King, I'll try to make small anti-lock areas and see if I can make them expand.  Lock doors say a lot about our society -- nothing good I might add.  I hope I can get rid of locks in one small area at a time.

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Budget War

Here we go again.  How do we keep the government going.  Well, Congress has to pass a resolution extending the debt limit.  We just don't have enough money to pay all the bills.  The Republicans in Congress are willing to sign off as long as they can cut everything in the budget that doesn't go to rich white people.  They even want to lower the highest tax rate to 25% - translated -- big tax break to the rich.  Meanwhile they plan to fix the problem by cutting benefits from our poorest citizens.  Of course there will be no cuts in military spending.

Time to think outside of the box.  When I am King, I am going to eliminate the Marines over a 10 year period and have their job picked up by the Army.

Thursday, March 31, 2011

The Big Short

I just finished reading the The Big Short, by Michael Lewis. Basically it details how a few really bright men figured out that the sub-prime mortgage market was going to implode causing the worst financial crisis since the great depression.  These few people shorted the market (made a bet against it) and made billions while all the major banks and brokerage houses went belly up.  What disturbs me about this whole story is where were the really smart guys in the government to see the same data and therefore head off the whole crisis.  They were either a sleep at the switch or they just don't exist.  Why were the regulators allow to classify these really worthless bonds as AAA?  Why didn't government just freeze the teaser rates?  Why were people with no income told how to lie to get a ridiculously high loan when they had no means to repay them?

 What insentive do the banks have to make good loans when they can make billions by making bad loans.  If all hell breaks loose, the government just bails them out.  When I am King, a lot of these assholes are headed to prison.

Monday, March 28, 2011

The Unlikely Final Four

Do you think there is anyone in the country with a NCAA bracket that has a Final 4 of Kentucky, Connecticut, Butler, and VCU?  I don't think so and I am glad.  I am tired of basketball snobs, such as Jay Bilas (CBS) raining on everyone's parade.  If you don't come form ACC or Big East, you really don't have a chance, or so goes his conventional wisdom.  This is only the third time that a number one team has failed to make in to the semi-finals.

Personally I am pulling for the winner between Butler and VCU - since conventional wisdom says they don't belong.  When I am King, I'll let everyone into the tournament. How you like that Jay?

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Save The Economy, Starve a Teacher

Now that we know  the economy can be saved by paying teachers less money everyone should feel at ease.  But first, maybe a closer examination is in order.  In Florida, the Governor wants every school district to get by on 10% less money (loss jobs and larger class size will do the trick) as well as have the teachers pay a higher percentage into their pension  and health care plans(can you say "cut in pay").  Since the Governor wants to eliminate all collective bargaining contracts, he offered to raise the pay of all teachers who excel in having their classes do well on standardise tests.  Of course the governor doesn't worry about having to pay too many bonuses, because he basically thinks most teachers are lazy, good for nothing union slackers.

Here's my question.  What if -- what if all the teachers take him up on this challenge and suddenly all of Florida's school children start passing those standardize test like there's no tomorrow.  Where will all the money come from to pay the promised raises?  Surely not form his rich buddies who have every tax benefit imaginable. No he'll just come up with another bull shit idea.  Maybe -- re-instate slavery.

Monday, March 14, 2011

March Madness

One of my favorite times of the year is March Madness -- since I coached basketball for 26 years.  I am sure lots of you are filling out brackets right now.  Hurry up, the main draw of 64 start Thursday.  As your potential King, I though I would share some of my expertise with you.  I should warn you, I don't always do that well, because I tend to pick teams who have coaches I like.  With that in mind, my long shot pick to win it all is ------- San Diego State (32-2).
I use to coach high school basketball against their coach Steve Fisher.  He's a class guy who won a national championship at Michigan.  You might know him as the coach of the Fab 5.  Because of outside trouble makers he lost his job at Michigan, but eventually landed on his feet at SDS.  He probably got a raw deal at Michigan and I am glad he's getting another shot.  If you take Duke to win it all, and they lay an egg, remember I told you so.

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Witch Hunts

In the 1950's Senator Joe McCarthy led a witch hunt to find communist sympathizers in America.  He destroyed countless reputations but  found no national security threats.  Basically Joe was a drunk who found a neat idea to help him get re-elected.

Enter New York Representative Peter King.  As chairman of the Homeland Security Committee he has decided to start his own political show trial by investigating radical Islam in the United States.  This would be the same Peter King that supported the Irish Republican Army during the 80's & 90's.  Of course IRA bombers didn't blow up anything in the U.S., so all is forgiven.

Where were the investigations of Christian terrorists after Timothy McVeigh decided to blow up the Alfred P. Murrah Federal building back in 1995? Or why do we have a national holiday for the greatest Christian  terrorist to ever reach the western world -- Christopher Columbus? What we need is a Congress that can work together to solve our problems and not waste our time with witch hunts.

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Wisconsin Education

For years people have pondered how to get the best and brightest of our college graduates to go into teaching.  Not an easy task since most males scoff at the profession because of the low pay.  But, there are some benefits that have helped attracted some good minds, such as a pension plans and health benefits. Just when things were looking up, a group of Republican bankers decided to destroy the economy. Instead of sending these crooks to prison, the Congress decides to bail them out and let them try again.  Just to make sure things get done right, we elect some half wits to positions of authority and let them come up with solutions.  But, first we make sure we give another tax break to the richest one percent (also know as the assholes who created the whole deficit problem in the first place). 

In Wisconsin you have one of the half wits trying to bring down the teachers and all collective bargaining.  His name is Scott Walker and you are bound to hear more about him in the near future.  It's his goal to balance the budget on the backs of working people, while giving a free pass to the rich and famous.  Oh, remember, the ones who are going to create all the jobs.  Well, where are all the jobs????  Rest assured, Walker and his ilk won't be happy until they bring back slavery.  And before we get too down on Scotty boy, there's another Presidential hopeful in Indiana trying to do the same damn thing.
When I am King, I'll start cutting from the top not the bottom. 

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

War Criminals

In 1945 an International Military Tribunal known as the Nuremberg Trials, found numerous people guilty of War Crimes.  Two of the charges were 1) Planning, initiating and waging wars of aggression and other crimes against peace and 2)  Crimes against humanity. Wars of aggression were defined as a war of conquest waged against another country without the justification of self-defense.  Martin Bormann, Herman Goring, and Rudolf Hess were all appropriately found guilty.

My question is, when will the trial start for George Bush, Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld?  When I am King, I'll get the process rolling.

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Pro Sport Labor Relations

There's a lot of talk recently about labor relations in professional sports.  The NFL is planning a lockout if they don't get some concessions from the union.  MLB is worried that Albert Pujols will get a new contract that will make A-Rods' look puny. And last, but not least, the NBA is trying to speculate what impact the LeBron James fiasco will have on the future of their league.

It's hard to feel sorry for either side, management or labor.  Basically you have millionaires fighting billionaires. Labor relations are a concern of most working people.  But labor relationships in professional sports is a little bit different.  In professional sports the owners are all socialists and the workers are all capitalists.  The owners demand salary caps to keep rich owners from buying up all the good talent. They have an inverse draft system in order to share the wealth of talent.   If they should lose a good player to another team they demand compensation.  Conversely, the players want the market to set their value.  If someone is dumb enough to give a player Fort Knox because he can get a hit 3 out of every 10 at bats -- so be it.

When I am King, I'll encourage the fans to stay away from the games until the owners and the players once again realize it's just a kid's game.  If fans stop attending, there won't be so many millions to throw around.

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

God Is On My Side

When Columbus came to America, he gathered up the natives and read to them (in Spanish) The Requirement.  Basically The Requirement admonished the locals to obey the wishes of the Catholic Church or all hell will break loose.  Worse yet, they were told it was their own fault.  The Spaniards then set about to pretty much destroy whole races of people.  But, God was on their side, so they didn't do anything wrong.
The British settlers weren't much better.  John Winthrop, governor of Massachusetts Bay Colony, praised God for sending the plague to destroy most of the Indians.  Again, God was on the Puritans side, which must of really pissed off the Indians.
Example such as these are seen through out history.  People always seem to think God is on their side.  Especially Americans.  We fight wars knowing that God hates the enemy.  Because of this, more people have been killed in the name of God that any other reason.  Profit probably runs a close second.  If there is a God (I am pretty sure their isn't) she needs to start striking down all these assholes who are giving her a bad name. God is a simple way of justifying our own selfish acts.
The next time you hear some athlete thanking God for favoring him, try to remember all the dead bodies caused by not being on God's team.  It will make you want to become an atheist, if your not one already.

Thursday, January 27, 2011

State of the Union

Like many Americans I listened to the State of the Union address with great interest.  The State of the Union address given by the President is a constitutional requirement.  Before FDR, presidents usually just sent a written document to the Congress and it was read into the record.  Mainly because of advances in communication technology the President now delivers the speech in person.  However, a written copy of the speech is sent to just about everyone imaginable prior to the speech.  All the news outlets, every member of Congress, and every talking head gets an advance copy.  When I am King, this won't happen.  I am not going to give every talking head a chance to pick apart my speech before it's given.  I am not going to give every member of Congress a chance to map out when they will applaud and when they won't.  I am going to make them do something they're not accustomed to doing - LISTENING!!!  If you want to take shots at me later, you'll have to listen and take notes instead of having some staffer do it for you. We have plenty of talking going on in Washington, but not nearly enough listening.  This could be a good first start.

Sunday, January 23, 2011

@#%##@** Packers Win.

The Bears lose to the Packers. The would be King is officially in hibernation.

Friday, January 21, 2011

Bear Game

I have to confess that I am obsessed.  This week I've done very little without thinking about the Chicago Bears.  Not only are they one win away from the Super Bowl, but they have to play their arch rival the Green Bay Packers.  To tell the truth, I don't even care if the Bears win the Super Bowl as long as they beat those Packers.  Being a Bear fan all my life, I know what it's like to get your ass kicked by the Pack.  It's time for the Bears to be the ass kicker once more.  If the Bears lose, you might not hear from me for a while - I'll be in hibernation.  GO BEARS!!!!!!!!!!

Friday, January 14, 2011

Golf Rule Change

Most of the rules of golf are fair and make good sense.  But a few rules are simply unfair.  Therefore, I plan on re-writing the rule book.  My first rule change deals with hitting your ball into a fairway divot.  Currently you have to play it where it lies. Keep in mine that you just hit the ball down this narrow fairway and now you're penalized.  Meanwhile your fellow competitor knocked the ball deep into the ruff, and has to stand on a cart path to hit his ball.  Guess what, he gets a drop while you have to hit your ball out of a divot.  When I am King, you'll get a free drop also.  Since we pour sand into the divots to help the grass grow back, I am declaring all fairway divots as ground under repair. Those guys who drive it into a divot in the ruff, too bad. Learn to hit it straighter and you'll be rewarded.

Monday, January 10, 2011

Golf Rules

Golf rules are hard to understand.  Most golfers have never seen the inside of a rule book.  Basically they just hit the ball, find it and hit it again.  That works pretty well until you run into some tricky situation, such as your ball is resting on a sprinkler head.  What do you do next.  Well, you hope someone in your group knows the rules better than you.  You ask for help.

On the PGA Tour, they usually have a rules official you can ask.  Pro golfers are really scared of making a mistake because it could cost them tons of money.  Many times they consult an official even when they know what to do.  Better safe than sorry.

To make things worse, any fan watching television can call and point out a rule violation -- usually hours after the golfer has signed his scorecard.  This happened to Camilo Villegas at Hyundai Tournament of Champions in Hawaii.  I'll spare you the details, but he unknowingly violated Rule 23 (look it up, it will be good for you).  A fan called in after Villegas'  round pointing out his rule violation and Camilo was disqualified.

Try calling the NBA to point out a foul that was missed.  Or better yet, call the NFL to complain about a missed holding call.  They would laugh at you -- as they should.  When I am King, I will order the PGA to turn off their phones during all tournaments.  If people want to bitch about a ruling, start a blog.

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Church Tax

The Senate just concluded its investigation of some of the largest televangelists and of course it was unable to act.  What it found was preachers living high off the hog.  Using church owned airplanes for travel, living in luxury homes and thriving off church owned credit cards --- paying taxes on nothing.  To make sure they continue their life style they have watchful oversight boards that are packed with relatives and friends.

When I am King, there won't be a need for a Senate investigations, because I'll tax all churches and religious groups as small businesses.  There's no reason to support religion with tax breaks.  Further more, I'll eliminate all individual religious tax deductions.  You want to give money to your favorite church, no problem.  Just don't expect a tax deduction. 

Saturday, January 1, 2011

New Year's Resolution

I never make New Year resolutions any more because I rarely keep them longer than a few days. But, if I could make one resolution for everyone to give a try, it wold go like this: Never discuss politics or religion with someone who doesn't already agree with you.  

I am amazed how people will share their unsolicited political or religious views with me as if they were the gospel truth and surely I am in agreement.  Now if the person with loose lips is a friend, I am really wasting my time getting involved in a discussions.  Eventually I'll have one less friend.  If the person is a stranger, I am still wasting my time, but I might feel better when I tell the person to go fuck himself.  My dad gave me this advise over 50 years ago and I wish I had paid better attention.  He would say that arguing politics or religion is like mud wrestling with a pig.  All you do is get dirty and the pig really likes it. 

Just think what could be accomplished if people were able to work together while totally ignorant of their colleges' political or religious views.  When I am King, I promise I'll follow this resolution -- well, for a few weeks until I can't resist telling some dumb ass to buzz off.