Constitution Test

Now that the Presidential election season is in full swing, I would like to take a moment to debunk two themes of the Republican candidates.  One concerns the constitutionality of “Obama Care”.  People, who claim they are big proponents of following the constitution, should take time to read it every now and then.  If they go to Article 1, section 8 they’ll be surprised to find “Congress shall have the power to make all laws which shall be necessary and proper…”, also known as the Elastic Clause.  The founders put this in because they realized things would come up that they hadn’t thought about.

My other pet peeve is Republicans complaining about the deficit being ran up by Obama.  Hey knuckle heads, the president can’t spend a dime without Congress’s approval.  In fact, every spending bill starts in the House of Representatives.  Last time I checked the Republicans were the majority party in the House.

When I am King, every member of the government will be required to pass a test on the Constitution.  They’ll need a score of 90%.  They won’t be allowed to vote on legislation until they pass.  Finally, a standardize test I can support.

Golf & Politics

I played golf on New Year’s Eve with a former Army intelligence officer.  We were stacked up behind several foursomes and so we naturally passed the time by bull shitting.  I was rewarded with one of the best conversations of the year.  His work in the intelligence field was truly fascinating – especially how they discovered Pakistan had nuclear weapons.  Eventually we started talking politics.  My fellow competitor was careful to mention he was a registered Republican.  I quickly confessed that I was a registered Democrat.  From that moment on we had the best give and take conversation about what needs to be done to solve our country’s problems.

 We both agreed that the election procedure is crazy.  Our politicians spend all their time getting elected.  We decided to make the presidential primary election season last only two months.  Every candidate would get free TV advertising, but it would be on C-SPAN.  We would also have a national primary election day at the end of the two month.  On other subjects we agreed to end the war in Afghanistan immediately, solved the budget problem with both spending cuts and tax increases and created jobs by repairing our infrastructure.  And this was all accomplished in the last five holes of play.  Just think what we could have done if we had decided to play another nine.  It was really refreshing to see there are still some moderate Republicans left. 

When I am King, that Army intelligence officer is going to be my Vice-King.  Were going to send the government on a two month vacation and when they get back all major problems will be solved.  Of course, we’ll accomplish this while playing more golf.

Hug a Liberal

Some where along the line, the term liberal became a dirty word.  Even our liberal leaders refer to themselves as "progressives".  If you listen to any of the Republican candidates you would think liberals are godless killers of the economy.  The truth be known, liberals have always been the ones looking after the well being of the everyday people, while the conservatives only care about money, especially other people's money.  Here are just a few reasons you should hug a liberal.

• If you have ever breathed clean air or drank clean water, hug a liberal
• If you haven't been lynched because of the color of your skin, hug a liberal
• If you have ever used Medicare, hug a liberal
• If you've ever driven on an interstate highway, hug a liberal
• If you don't live an an overpopulated third world slum, or just think birth control is a good idea, hug a liberal.
• If your family benefited from the GI Bill of Rights, hug a liberal
• If you're are glad the the Nazis don't control half of the world, hug a liberal
• If you've ever visited a national park, hug a liberal
• If you haven't been tortured to death in a religious inquisition, hug a liberal.

In short, if you've ever enjoyed anything of the post-stone age world, you have a liberal to thank.  When I am King and someone calls me a liberal, I am going to say "Thank You"! 

Death Penalty is Murder

I never could understand how two wrongs make a right.  Remember when you were a kid and some other kid did something stupid – and you did the same thing.  Your mother probably said something like “if Johnny jumps off a bridge, I guess you would jump off the bridge too.”  Well, it turns out old mom was pretty smart.

Think about it.  The police are supposed to stamp out corruption – not be corrupt.  You wouldn’t expect firemen set fires.   How many people would go to a doctor if he purposely made the patient sicker?  All of these are obviously absurd scenarios.   

Yet, our states and national government make it illegal to murder someone, but have no problem committing murder themselves.  Yes, I am talking about the death penalty.  Why does the government feel they should be exempt from this crime?  Maybe it’s because of religious views, in which case I'm glad I am an atheist.  Maybe it’s because it makes you feel safer – even though there is no evidence that the death penalty serves as a deterrent to murder.  No, I just think people like the idea of revenge. 

My problem is that we sometimes get it wrong.  Innocent people on death row have been cleared by DNA in recent years.  There’s no telling how many innocent people were killed before this technology.  Georgia recently executed a man who had seven of his nine witnesses recant their testimony.  After a while, it appears expediency is more important than due process and mercy.

When I am King, I’ll eliminate the death penalty in all 50 states and the federal government.  Two wrongs don’t make a right.  Murder is murder.

Princess Of Seattle

My wife and I just finished visiting our daughter in Seattle, Washington.  Although we were only there four days, I learned a lot about Seattle. The following are some of my observations. 

• Seattle seems to be a very young city.  I felt like the oldest fart on the block.  Maybe that’s because the down town section is extremely hilly and only the hardiest souls can survive there. (Your dumb ass King brought new shoes on the trip)
• Young people all seem to be ready for anything.  You almost never see a young person with out a back pack.  I just wonder what’s in those back packs.
• It seems like every young person is in love with their I-Phone.  My daughter made me a believer with her demonstration of the bus app.  However, I am not sure the King is smart enough to learn how to use it.
• My daughter is a real celebrity.  First, a total stranger stops her on the street and asks if she’s the “Boob Quake Girl?” and later our underground tour guide confessed she was a big fan of her blog.  She even asked for an autograph.  No one has ever asked for The King’s autograph.

After I left, I was convinced that my daughter has found the perfect home.  When I am King I am making my daughter Princess of Seattle.

Lady Lake Right Wing Newspaper

Like a lot of people living in a small town, we have a free local newspaper that is thrown on our driveway periodically.  The paper is nothing but a right wing propaganda rag.  Recently I read one article entitled, Where is Our Country Headed.  It was basically an Obama hate letter.  It was of course written by an anonymous author, one who had great difficulty with proper grammar.  What follows are a few examples of the questions or comments made about the President.  I have chosen to give my own replies in blue.

1. We are not sure where he came from. Simple answer, from Mrs. & Mr. Obama.  If it's a location you had in mind, how about Hawaii.  Check it out -- I am pretty sure it's part of the United States.
2. We know Obama has never run a business and has never had to meet payroll and still has not experienced in while trying to run our country.  Apparently being an educator disqualifies you from being president.  Of course most presidents in the last hundred years had never run a business (Nixon, Ford, Kennedy, Roosevelt, etc).  But I am pretty sure everyone in the federal government is getting their check on time.
3. Obama has never had military experience but he is in charge of the largest army in the world.    John Adams, John Quincy Adams, Martin Van Buren, William Howard Taft, Herbert Hoover, Franklin D. Roosevelt, and Bill Clinton all lacked military experience.  Message to Moron -- it's not a requirement -- look it up.  By the way did you hear how the Obama administration managed to kill Osama bin Laden??
4. Obama has the Robin Hood Syndrome.  Take from the rich and give to the poor.  I guess that could work until there are no more rich.  First of all, Robin Hood was a good guy (read the book if you're capable).  Secondly, if you're on Social Security or receiving Medicare, I hope you will refuse it in the future because you are really spending someone else's money.  Thirdly, I am pretty sure there will always be rich people.  If you objectively look at the data (as opposed to listening to only the Fox News hate team),  you'll see that the rich have done nothing but get richer at the expense of the middle class and poor.

I could go on forever, but I think you get the point.  Hate literature is protected by the first amendment.  It's nice to know that the Citizen White Council is still alive and well in Florida. But, When I am King you'll have to sign your name to the article.  Further more, you'll be charged a fee for littering my driveway.

Budget War

Here we go again.  How do we keep the government going.  Well, Congress has to pass a resolution extending the debt limit.  We just don't have enough money to pay all the bills.  The Republicans in Congress are willing to sign off as long as they can cut everything in the budget that doesn't go to rich white people.  They even want to lower the highest tax rate to 25% - translated -- big tax break to the rich.  Meanwhile they plan to fix the problem by cutting benefits from our poorest citizens.  Of course there will be no cuts in military spending.

Time to think outside of the box.  When I am King, I am going to eliminate the Marines over a 10 year period and have their job picked up by the Army.

The Big Short

I just finished reading the The Big Short, by Michael Lewis. Basically it details how a few really bright men figured out that the sub-prime mortgage market was going to implode causing the worst financial crisis since the great depression.  These few people shorted the market (made a bet against it) and made billions while all the major banks and brokerage houses went belly up.  What disturbs me about this whole story is where were the really smart guys in the government to see the same data and therefore head off the whole crisis.  They were either a sleep at the switch or they just don't exist.  Why were the regulators allow to classify these really worthless bonds as AAA?  Why didn't government just freeze the teaser rates?  Why were people with no income told how to lie to get a ridiculously high loan when they had no means to repay them?

 What insentive do the banks have to make good loans when they can make billions by making bad loans.  If all hell breaks loose, the government just bails them out.  When I am King, a lot of these assholes are headed to prison.

War Criminals

In 1945 an International Military Tribunal known as the Nuremberg Trials, found numerous people guilty of War Crimes.  Two of the charges were 1) Planning, initiating and waging wars of aggression and other crimes against peace and 2)  Crimes against humanity. Wars of aggression were defined as a war of conquest waged against another country without the justification of self-defense.  Martin Bormann, Herman Goring, and Rudolf Hess were all appropriately found guilty.

My question is, when will the trial start for George Bush, Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld?  When I am King, I'll get the process rolling.

The Girl Effect

Two of the best books I've ever read were "Three Cups of Tea: One Man's Mission to Promote Peace...One School at a Time" and "Stones to School: Promoting Peace with Books, Not Bombs, in Afghanistan and Pakistan."  If you haven't read them, put them on your Christmas wish list.  Or - just go out and buy them right now.

The books recount  the adventures of Greg Morrison in building schools, especially schools for girls, in the poorest and most remote areas of Pakistan and Afghanistan.  Why the special emphasis on girl schools?  Because Morrison realizes that adolescent girls are uniquely qualified to improve the standard of living in the developing world. For more information, The King orders you to follow this link. If you didn't follow my order, go back and do it.

I hope you're inspired, now that you have a better understanding of why girl schools are so important in poor countries.  If you are looking for that last minute tax deduction, please consider the Central Asia Institute. If nothing else, buy the books.  You'll be glad you did.  Not only will you have the pleasure of reading two great  books, but all the proceeds go to building new schools. You'll be promoting The Girl Effect.

Automated Phone Service

I don't know about you, but I really hate automated phone service.  I am tired of having an automated voice say - "If you want English, please press 1, all other languages press 2.  If you would like to hear a list of products you could care less about, press 1.  If you are calling to sign up for shitty service, press 2.  If you would like like to sign up for our ultimate shitty service, press 3.  If you would simply like to tell the automated voice to go fuck himself, please hang up and try again when you have calmed down." If you do finally make a selection, you get put on hold and every now and then, an automated voice comes back to tell you he's sorry for the delay, but your call is very important, so please stay on the line for the next two hours.  If it's that damn important, answer the fucking phone.

When I am King, I am going to find out who invented this technology and have him or her beheaded.

Check out this link, Why I'd rather be punched in the testicles than call customer service., that was recommended by Jochem Atteveld. You'll get a good laugh.

Fixing the Budget

It seems everyone has an idea on how to fix the federal budget.  Some want to cut spending -- others want to raise taxes -- and a few realize you have to do both.  Well, let's see how well you can solve this problem.  The New York Times has an interactive page that will allow you to try and balance the budget for the short term (2015) and long term (2030).

It can be done --  I did it -- but it's not easy.  When you're done, try to imagine that you have to sell your solution to the American public.  That could get ugly.  It's not so bad if your the King, because he doesn't have to explain anything.

Best Job Ever

I am pretty happy with my job - I am retired.  If you can afford it, there's not much of a down side to being retired.  But, if I could have any job, it would be Ex-President.  Now keep in mind I would never want to be president.  That's the shittiest job in the world. Way too stressful.  That's why I would rather be part time King. But, if you some how manage to live through your presidency, the best job awaits you.

Want proof?  Check out the front roll of tonight's (Saturday) World Series game.  Who do you find -- you guested it, George W. Bush.  Now most of the people in the front row probably paid several thousand dollars for their tickets -- want to guest what Bush paid for his.  Nothing.  When you're an ex-president you can score the best tickets for any event - World Series, Super Bowl, Final 4, Broadway Plays, you name it, and I guarantee you some one will comp you.  Want to travel somewhere, no problem.  Corporations will send you their private jet.  You have the chance to live out your dreams for free.

To make things even better, they give you a small pension -- currently $191,300 and throw in $20,000 for your wife.  You also get a generous expense account.  Example, President Clinton's phone bill for 2008 was $79,000. When I am King, I am hoping my subjects will push through a plan for me.  Nothing big, just a chance to play golf at Augusta National.  I'll be happy.

Supreme Court Term

In college I took a couple classes in constitutional law.  It was interesting to read old cases and study the reasoning used in making decisions.  I was amazed how many justices would make decisions that ran counter to their political views.  My favorite was Earl Warren in the Brown v The Board of Education case. 

I found it interesting because of the soul searching of  Chief Justice Earl Warren.  Warren was the former governor of California.  He was a middle of the road to conservative Republican.  Most though he would end up as Eisenhower's Vice President.  But, Ike picked Richard Nixon for the V.P. slot and promised a disappointed Warren an appointment to the bench later on.  Little did Ike know, that the first opening would be the position of Chief Justice.  The president tried to back out of his commitment, but eventually kept his word and made the appointed.

Eisenhower considered it the worse decision of his presidency.  Because Warren had a life time term, he made decisions without worrying  about politics.  This is how the system was suppose to work.  Boy have things change.  Now justices vote a long straight political lines.  The new strategy for appointments is to send justices to the Supreme Court at an early age and make damn sure  their political ideology  is aligned to the party  in power.  This way you know what you're getting (no Warren surprises) and you can count on them for 25 or 30 years.

I am now rethinking my view on the life time appointment.  I am not sure it produces the desired out come -- decisions base on the facts of law. I think there should be an age requirement and a fixed term.  When I am King, a justices will have to be at least 55 years old and will serve a term of 15 years.  Hopefully, there are still some prospective justices out there who are willing to follow their conscience and the law,  instead of an ideology.

Birthday

Today I had a great time at my twin grandson's birthday party.  It is wonderful to see their growth and development.  You see, they were born premature.  They weighed just a fraction over two pounds at birth. There was a time when their life was touch and go.  But thanks to science, they enjoyed their third birthday today.  You would never know that they fought so hard for life.

Their birthday party was like many kids party. Lots of grandparents, uncles, aunts, and one great grandmother were in attendance.  Gifts were plentiful and watching the kids reactions was priceless.  My son wondered how long they would have interest in all the toys, before they started looking forward to Christmas.  I had to give my son a reality check and remind him how many kids don't have loving parents able to dote on them.  Science might have given them life, but loving care has made them into such wonderful kids.

When I am King, I won't be able to guarantee every child a loving support system, but I wish I could.

Political Ads

I don't know about you, but I am really sick of political election ads on TV.  Each election ad uses some actors to make it sound like the end of the world is about to happen if we elect the wrong person.  Kind of a modern day "chicken little" plot.  Most are outright lies and distortions.  Both parties use them and they all suck.  Worst of all, they start two to three months before the election and they're on constantly.  Making matters worse, our Supreme Court has ruled that corporations have no financial limits on campaign donations.  Seems bribing candidates is now called "free speech".  This means you can fund all the ads you want and you really don't even have to disclose where the money is coming from. 

Well enough all ready.  When I am King, all political ads will be allowed on TV only during the last two weeks of the campaign. TV stations will be allowed to sponsor as many debates as they want.  Debates are great because you learn a lot about each candidate's views and philosophy.  But, best of all, you can change the channel.

Tear Down This Wall

Recently I viewed a documentary on the U. S. border fence being erected along the Mexican-U.S. border.  The purpose of the fence is to keep Mexicans from entering our country illegally. It's not doing too good of job.  It seems that it is quite easy to take out a map and a marker and draw a line where the fence should go -- all 1,950 miles of it.  Building it is a little bit harder.

Some areas, the land is relatively flat and not much of a challenge.  Other areas are some of the most god awful landscape you've ever seen and the task is a lot more difficult.  So difficult, that the fence just stops.  A little farther down the line it starts up again.  All total, only about a third of the fence is completed. 

Even if the fence was  100% completed (something that will probably never happen) it does little to stop the flow of illegal immigrants into the United States.  The documentary showed video of people routinely scaling the fence and hustling off to a better life in America.  You see, where there's a will, there's a way. 

This whole project is a colossal waste of money and an extreme cause of environmental destruction.  Instead of building a fence, we need to make it less attractive for illegals to come to America.  We can do this by attacking the people who give them jobs.  When I am King, I will severely punish those who employ undocumented workers.  I'll start with a $10,000 per worker fine for first offenders and mandatory jail time for repeat offenders.

To paraphrase a former president, "Mr. Obama, tear down this wall."

Civil Rights for Everyone

Finally, a court decision that advances civil rights.  U. S. District Court Judge Ronald Leighton in Tacoma, WA, ruled that Air Force Maj. Margaret Witt should be reinstated.  Witt, a flight nurse, lost her job when the Air Force discovered she had a civilian female partner.

In 1954, the Supreme Court ruled against public school segregation in Brown v. The Board of Education.  That led to a massive civil rights movement that eventually led Congress to pass a whole series of anti-discrimination laws.  It wasn't an easy task.  Students did sit ins. Freedom riders put their lives on the line.  Martin Luther King Jr. gave his life. 

Hopefully, Judge Leighton started the process for universal civil rights.  His decision will trigger a series of future court appeals.  I have little confidence in the Robert's Court, but I am hoping that Congress will stand up during the future lame duck session and end "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" forever.

When I am King, civil rights will be for everyone.  Not just the powerful, the mainstream, the white, the rich -- but, for everyone.

God's Work Tax?

When I was a young boy I use to go to church with my mother and father.  I was always fascinated when the collection plate was passed.  I couldn't believe how many people willingly deposited money into the collection plate.  I always wondered if anyone would notice if I took out a few bucks for myself. That was before my mother explained that the money was given so the preacher and the church could do God's work.

I had this view of Mother Teresa helping the down trodden with this collection money.  That was until I visited Vatican City.  As I approached the Vatican Museum, I couldn't help but notice the beggars lining the perimeter.  As I tour the museum and St. Peter's Basilica, I also remember that back in Chicago, the church was getting ready to closed down some Catholic High Schools in poor neighborhoods due to lack of funds.  Lack of funds, are you kidding me!  Sell a wing of art treasures in the Vatican Museum and you could feed all the beggars and fund all the schools for a long time.

One needn't travel to Rome to see examples of collection plate fraud.  In a near by neighborhood, we have a minister who has a mega church that rakes in money hand over fist.  Most of the people attending the church are poor working class people who reach deep into their pockets each week to keep funding God's work.  However, God's work consist of funding two mansions, each worth over $1,000,000, in a gated country club community.  Clearly, this man is no Mother Teresa.

It's hard for me to understand why people willing fund such establishments.  Worst yet, I don't understand why we have to subsides them with our money so they can avoid paying taxes.  When I am King, I'll eliminate all tax breaks for churches.  They will be viewed as businesses, and have their income and property taxed like all other businesses.  Since some of the tax dollars will go to help the poor and sick, I guess will call it "God's Work Tax".

King and Queen Golf

Today is our annual King and Queen golf tournament.  Sometimes referred to as the "The soon to be divorced tourney".  For you not into golf, let me explain.  My wife and I will both hit our drives from our respective tees, pick out the best ball, and hit alternates shots until the hole is finished.  Once you start alternating shots, the fun really begins. For example, if I hit our second shot into a sand trap, my wife will hit the next shot.  I am sure you can imagine all sorts of scenarios that would require a lot of "I am sorry" comments.

The trick is to get to the end and still be talking to each other.  There will be times when I make a suggestion and my wife will think I am nuts, and vice versa.  There is a great urge to say "I told you so", but we'll both do our best to stifle that comment.  The hard part is for me to keep my mouth shut.  As you know, I pretty much have an opinion about everything.  But, today I am going to do my best to keep my opinions to myself.  As much as I want to win, I also want my wife and I to be on speaking terms when we finish.

Believe it or not, we have won this event before.  But back then, you had to play with your spouse. Now, you just need a partner. Trust me, it's a lot harder to play with your spouse, than just another person.  Your spouse will tell you in a heart beat where you can shove your golf ball.  When I am King,  you'll play with your spouse or not play at all. In the mean time, wish us luck.

 Update: We finished 2nd and we're still talking to each other.