What a crock of shit. Do you really think God has nothing better to do than make sure his only son calms you down the stretch. Does God hate the other golfers? Does God have nothing better to do? I mean, Japan is on the verge becoming a toxic nuclear waste dump and God is worried about a golf tournament??? Million of people are unemployed because rich bastards need to have God kick them in the ass, but noooooooooo, he's busy watching golf.
Personally, I really don't care what a person's religious beliefs are, as long as he keeps them to himself. It's when he tries to push his beliefs on everyone else that I take exception. When I am King, I'll fine your ass for such TV utterances. All you're doing is promoting your religion on national TV -- do it in church. You'll find lots of people who wan to hear your thoughts. But I won't be there, I'll be playing golf.
Would you make an exception for praying to the Golf Gods?
ReplyDeleteI've really wanted to see an announcer ask someone like this if they think God really likes them more than the other golfers and whether they think this constitutes cheating...
ReplyDeleteThen they'll need to come up with a penalty for accepting supernatural assistance. Ten strokes maybe?
ReplyDeleteCome on. God, the almighty creator of the universe, wants people to chop off a piece of their pee-pee. That tells me enough about his priorities to not be surprised that Gold tournaments are more important than starving children in Africa.
ReplyDeleteOh, vending machine religion, where would we be without you?
ReplyDeleteCut the poor chap some slack: don't ya know god is infinitely powerful ? He might be a dumb arse who lets earthquakes destroy hundreds of thousands of lives but that's only because he is too busy making sure homosexuals don't get married. Got to get your priorities straight.
ReplyDeleteWell said!
ReplyDeleteWell said! That comment of his sent me to bed still grinding my teeth (another time zone).
ReplyDeleteThere will be no penalty for praying to golf gods -- they are just doing their job.
ReplyDeleteEver thought of converting to Hinduism? I am pretty sure it has a golf god in their somewhere. Probably Tiger Woods or something...
ReplyDeleteHe did not really say that Jesus intervened and made him win. He only said that his belief in Jesus watching him made him stay focused. Slight difference.
ReplyDeleteGeorge Carlin made the same observation in his book, "When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?" He simply said, "Play now, pray later."
ReplyDeleteOh, and I'm pretty sure there's only one golf god, and his name is Loki.
No wonder my prayers haven't been heard.
ReplyDelete"Does God hate the other golfers? Does God have nothing better to do?"
ReplyDeleteWell, football season ain't started yet, and baseball's boring as fuhggall if'n ya cain't go see it in person, so Big G's gotta do sumthin' fer ta keep hisself entertained.
Perhaps a conditional ten-stroke penalty for claiming divine intervention — applied unless you can prove empirically that divine intervention actually occurred.
ReplyDeleteWorks for me. Thanks John.
ReplyDelete"Does God hate the other golfers? Does God have nothing better to do?"
ReplyDeleteWell, football season ain't started yet, and baseball's boring as fuhggall if'n ya cain't go see it in person, so Big G's gotta do sumthin' fer ta keep hisself entertained.
Oh, vending machine religion, where would we be without you?
ReplyDeleteI've really wanted to see an announcer ask someone like this if they think God really likes them more than the other golfers and whether they think this constitutes cheating...
ReplyDeleteGOLF FOR THE GOLF GOD!
ReplyDeletePraise the lord, you said it all. Crap
ReplyDeleteThis is really sooooooo funny :) Thanks for the post!
ReplyDelete