War Criminals

In 1945 an International Military Tribunal known as the Nuremberg Trials, found numerous people guilty of War Crimes.  Two of the charges were 1) Planning, initiating and waging wars of aggression and other crimes against peace and 2)  Crimes against humanity. Wars of aggression were defined as a war of conquest waged against another country without the justification of self-defense.  Martin Bormann, Herman Goring, and Rudolf Hess were all appropriately found guilty.

My question is, when will the trial start for George Bush, Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld?  When I am King, I'll get the process rolling.

Pro Sport Labor Relations

There's a lot of talk recently about labor relations in professional sports.  The NFL is planning a lockout if they don't get some concessions from the union.  MLB is worried that Albert Pujols will get a new contract that will make A-Rods' look puny. And last, but not least, the NBA is trying to speculate what impact the LeBron James fiasco will have on the future of their league.

It's hard to feel sorry for either side, management or labor.  Basically you have millionaires fighting billionaires. Labor relations are a concern of most working people.  But labor relationships in professional sports is a little bit different.  In professional sports the owners are all socialists and the workers are all capitalists.  The owners demand salary caps to keep rich owners from buying up all the good talent. They have an inverse draft system in order to share the wealth of talent.   If they should lose a good player to another team they demand compensation.  Conversely, the players want the market to set their value.  If someone is dumb enough to give a player Fort Knox because he can get a hit 3 out of every 10 at bats -- so be it.

When I am King, I'll encourage the fans to stay away from the games until the owners and the players once again realize it's just a kid's game.  If fans stop attending, there won't be so many millions to throw around.
 

God Is On My Side

When Columbus came to America, he gathered up the natives and read to them (in Spanish) The Requirement.  Basically The Requirement admonished the locals to obey the wishes of the Catholic Church or all hell will break loose.  Worse yet, they were told it was their own fault.  The Spaniards then set about to pretty much destroy whole races of people.  But, God was on their side, so they didn't do anything wrong.
The British settlers weren't much better.  John Winthrop, governor of Massachusetts Bay Colony, praised God for sending the plague to destroy most of the Indians.  Again, God was on the Puritans side, which must of really pissed off the Indians.
Example such as these are seen through out history.  People always seem to think God is on their side.  Especially Americans.  We fight wars knowing that God hates the enemy.  Because of this, more people have been killed in the name of God that any other reason.  Profit probably runs a close second.  If there is a God (I am pretty sure their isn't) she needs to start striking down all these assholes who are giving her a bad name. God is a simple way of justifying our own selfish acts.
The next time you hear some athlete thanking God for favoring him, try to remember all the dead bodies caused by not being on God's team.  It will make you want to become an atheist, if your not one already.

State of the Union

Like many Americans I listened to the State of the Union address with great interest.  The State of the Union address given by the President is a constitutional requirement.  Before FDR, presidents usually just sent a written document to the Congress and it was read into the record.  Mainly because of advances in communication technology the President now delivers the speech in person.  However, a written copy of the speech is sent to just about everyone imaginable prior to the speech.  All the news outlets, every member of Congress, and every talking head gets an advance copy.  When I am King, this won't happen.  I am not going to give every talking head a chance to pick apart my speech before it's given.  I am not going to give every member of Congress a chance to map out when they will applaud and when they won't.  I am going to make them do something they're not accustomed to doing - LISTENING!!!  If you want to take shots at me later, you'll have to listen and take notes instead of having some staffer do it for you. We have plenty of talking going on in Washington, but not nearly enough listening.  This could be a good first start.

@#%##@** Packers Win.

The Bears lose to the Packers. The would be King is officially in hibernation.

Bear Game

I have to confess that I am obsessed.  This week I've done very little without thinking about the Chicago Bears.  Not only are they one win away from the Super Bowl, but they have to play their arch rival the Green Bay Packers.  To tell the truth, I don't even care if the Bears win the Super Bowl as long as they beat those Packers.  Being a Bear fan all my life, I know what it's like to get your ass kicked by the Pack.  It's time for the Bears to be the ass kicker once more.  If the Bears lose, you might not hear from me for a while - I'll be in hibernation.  GO BEARS!!!!!!!!!!

Golf Rule Change

Most of the rules of golf are fair and make good sense.  But a few rules are simply unfair.  Therefore, I plan on re-writing the rule book.  My first rule change deals with hitting your ball into a fairway divot.  Currently you have to play it where it lies. Keep in mine that you just hit the ball down this narrow fairway and now you're penalized.  Meanwhile your fellow competitor knocked the ball deep into the ruff, and has to stand on a cart path to hit his ball.  Guess what, he gets a drop while you have to hit your ball out of a divot.  When I am King, you'll get a free drop also.  Since we pour sand into the divots to help the grass grow back, I am declaring all fairway divots as ground under repair. Those guys who drive it into a divot in the ruff, too bad. Learn to hit it straighter and you'll be rewarded.